Sunday, February 29, 2004
Basicly the last point I was trying to make is this. I feel alone in this town. I realy have no one person in my corner outside of my house. I have mike and Milly, they are there for Nikki and my self, and I have Cliff, but he to will soon be gone. Donkey is in Lawrence, the KC fam is in KC, and the few friends Nikki and I had here are gone. Stabbed us in the back. Nikki and I both feel so alone here. I try and I try to do what is right for my family.
Another thing that weighs heavily on my heart is my KC family. I know that EVERY ONE of them means well, I TRULY KNOW THAT. But have you ever noticed that when a person starts a sentance with "Now I PROMISE I am not saying this as a lecture, or to chew your ass..." You still feel like you are going to sit sideways in your chair b/c part of your ass is gone. I feel that way EVERY time I talk to people up home, SAVE ONE CONVERSATION that I had the other night on the phone with Dan. I have not felt so good after a phone call in a long time. Dan is truly one of the few people I trust these days, and I was THRILLED to waste an hour of cleaning tables, and scrubbing coffee pots to talk to Dan and Kris. That was the first time in a long time I felt "Talked with" rather than talked TO. I just want people to realize, LECTURES ARE WEARING THIN.
I do not need lectured on every aspect of my life, and for those of you sitting there reading this thinking it is jut coming from KC, WRONG! Nikki and I do not need to be told how to raise our son by our friends WHO DONT HAVE KIDS! We do not need to be told how to eat by py our friend WHO SKIP MEALS AND DO PALATIES TO TRY AND LOOK LIKE SKELOTANS. I do not need to be lectured on how to spend my money by people who are trying to find get rich schemes like donating plasma or selling clothes! I am TIRED OF LECTURES, I WANT TO HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH A REAL PERSON WHO IS ON THE SAME PAGE AS ME! DAMNIT I AM SO FRUSTRATED RIGHT NOW!
On a side note,
I love my donkey, I do, she is the greatest thing to me since sliced bread. I think my world would end if I lost my donkey for one second! She is great, and I hope she knows how much I love her.
That is all I got for now, sorry to those of you who liked the blog as a light hearted window to my world, seems lately to be a dark catacomb in my soul.
But keep reading, it will only get better!
Lynn
|
Another thing that weighs heavily on my heart is my KC family. I know that EVERY ONE of them means well, I TRULY KNOW THAT. But have you ever noticed that when a person starts a sentance with "Now I PROMISE I am not saying this as a lecture, or to chew your ass..." You still feel like you are going to sit sideways in your chair b/c part of your ass is gone. I feel that way EVERY time I talk to people up home, SAVE ONE CONVERSATION that I had the other night on the phone with Dan. I have not felt so good after a phone call in a long time. Dan is truly one of the few people I trust these days, and I was THRILLED to waste an hour of cleaning tables, and scrubbing coffee pots to talk to Dan and Kris. That was the first time in a long time I felt "Talked with" rather than talked TO. I just want people to realize, LECTURES ARE WEARING THIN.
I do not need lectured on every aspect of my life, and for those of you sitting there reading this thinking it is jut coming from KC, WRONG! Nikki and I do not need to be told how to raise our son by our friends WHO DONT HAVE KIDS! We do not need to be told how to eat by py our friend WHO SKIP MEALS AND DO PALATIES TO TRY AND LOOK LIKE SKELOTANS. I do not need to be lectured on how to spend my money by people who are trying to find get rich schemes like donating plasma or selling clothes! I am TIRED OF LECTURES, I WANT TO HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH A REAL PERSON WHO IS ON THE SAME PAGE AS ME! DAMNIT I AM SO FRUSTRATED RIGHT NOW!
On a side note,
I love my donkey, I do, she is the greatest thing to me since sliced bread. I think my world would end if I lost my donkey for one second! She is great, and I hope she knows how much I love her.
That is all I got for now, sorry to those of you who liked the blog as a light hearted window to my world, seems lately to be a dark catacomb in my soul.
But keep reading, it will only get better!
Lynn
|
